Protection for phone

Protection required for cell phones with Whatsapp increase as groups you are a member of move in reverse chronological order e.g. Decency will drop in this sequence: Post graduate group (Max), graduate group, school group, Chaddi Buddy group (Min).

Sincerity Heads Turn

Hardwork and sincerity
respect you earn
Being so beautiful
make heads turn

Normal Sequence

Normal sequence for Indian visiting US weekwise.
1st weekend
Washing Clothes
2nd. weekend
Visiting Washington
3rd. weekend
Returning back home watching mother washing a ton.

Smile

Such a wonderful smile, to watch could walk a mile.

Demonetization

Words in Chemistry describe the current situation on Demonetization:
TV Debates and Opposition are mostly Critical or Super Critical. General public is moving towards equilibrium from an unsteady state.

Making Soya

On your bed put your head on pillow stretch your legs and close your eyes

Chutaman Needed

New Indian Super Hero Chutaman Urgently Needed To Bring In The Change

Demonetization

Subsequent to the Demonetization announcement, I was expecting people to queue up first at outlets selling "Rupa Frontline" as a commercial advertisement informs it could give them a preference in the long queues at Banks and ATMs.

TV Viewers also happy

This Diwali: Crackers were fewer helping the TV viewer

Change Of Season

Change of Season:
Miss Tree Bid Farewell At End Of Fall.
Hope the Tata group comes out of the current crisis.

Pal More or Less

Shiv's Pal is Mulayam more and Akhi less

Surgical Strike

Month of October had Surgical Strikes in different contexts:
Surgeons in Jharkhand had a Strike, Indian army conducted a Surgical Strike and PM Modi said we should conduct a "Surgical Strike" on Black Money.

Rok Sake To Rok Le

Bimari Na Rok Sakti
Kitni Bhi Kare Sakhti
Aap Aise Ho Vyakti
Jisko Kaam Se Bhakti (Illness cannot stop you how much it tries you are a person for whom work is worship)

Kasa Ahe

Serving Kasay is like saying "Kasa Ahe"

Qualifying for a television debate

A noticeable background for panelists on Indian Television debates is a rack of books in General and for Retired Generals from the Indian Army and Distinguished Personnel from other Services - its the gallantry awards.

Liver n Bile

Liver's function is to produce Bile, however nowadays livers need a Mobile to function

Badhe Chalo

O Mehnat Kar Ne Walon Apna Kyal Rakna
Badhate Kadam Mushkilo Se Nahi Zukhna

Greatness

How to make an apple great? Ans: By grating it
How to make an area great
Ans: Add an area with the same name and prefix with greater

Mehnati Nari

Kam Main Doobi Hui Ek Mehnati Nari
Jo Hai Kalatmak Aur Lage Pyari

A tale of two ambitions

Two ambitious CMs wanting to be PMs. In their states one has "Given Aap ( Up)" and the other "Behal".

Greyed Doubt

Recently I went to submit a form related to my son. At 16 he continues to a 'minor'. Being the 'major' I had fixed my photograph next to my son's. The lady at the counter looked up to me to start a polite conversation and said "So this is your grandson".

Engineers Day

Only news item around engineers day i saw was that somebody engineered a split (97%<->3%) in a state government ruling party

Recruiters recruiting recruiters

Maximum posts on Linkedin I am seeing are by recruiters wanting to recruit recruiters.

Now or then

Contradiction: On completing 100 days in office in Kerala the government's slogan says "Now we have a government here"

Name

Looking up Linkedin I saw a name: Arti Atri. Interestingly has only a "t" located at a different location in first and last name!

Done Dand

Sometimes when you say "Done" it feels like s Dand in Hindi.

India Post

Saw a sign board with an arrow which said  "India Post Complex".
Its true that Indian Postal System is complex as it has over 150K offices.
I remember that in my grandfather's village due to the tradition of my community many households had the eldest male named as Mangesh. Nadkarni was a common last name. A telegram was received at the post office addressed to Mangesh Nadkarni informing the birth of a granddaughter. I understand the postman went to every household he knew with that name and found the right household (co incidently my grandfather's) almost at the end of the day!

Khaali aur Khali

Came via  Sadar Bazaar today. Road there was so Khaali that even Khali (the great) could have walked comfortably

Thor is Trim

For my Konkani friends. Contradiction: Super Hero "Thor" is trim and fit

Brazil

Brazil Ne Mara Goal Aur Jeeta Gold.

Pensioner too early

Never understood the logic in this Indian Insurance advertisement where the main character who is very young  man considers himself a pensioner because he has taken an insurance policy with the benefits of a pension after retirement and then like a highly experienced chess player without taking the permission of the players and not even looking at a chess board moves one piece on the board to do check + mate.

Shri Can

Hope Shri Can Dan (down) Lin @ Rio 2016

Hajar Rupiya

Once I and my friend were walking out of UDCT building at 6:00 pm and  one student asked "Are Itne Jaldi Ja Rahe Ho" my friend's reply was "Hajar Rupiya Main Kya Kya Karega" (Our stipend had got reduced to 1000 rupees for 6 months)

Haircuts

In a recent discussion on GST on a TV news channel the anchor asked "with the coming of GST what will go up and what will come down, would haircuts cost more?" Montek Singh Ahluwalia a prominent economist on the panel promtly responded "I am not worried about haircuts"

Name

Came across a name in India's North East "Mwdwn Islary". Not sure how to pronounce the first name.

Credit to Indian BSF

Saw a news item which indicated that some people who normally would have infiltrated from the porous boder came to protest at Wagah border (the official border post) to accept some items which they had brought along. Does it show that our Border Security Force is doing well?

GST

GueST SENdS EX Down

Wrestler's fate

Serious situation - A wrestler's fate now hangs on a "Nada"

Mohenjo Daro

With the movie Mohenjo Daro getting released soon I wish our planners take note of the elaborate drainage arrangements the ancient civilization had.

Lab Coat

I asked a shopkeeper "Give me a lab coat" He said "Chemistry is a great subject"

Hoor Selfie Lena Jazoor

Lagti Ho Jaise Koi Pari Ya Hoor
Jab Man Kare Selfie Lena Jazoor

Fuel Good Factor

The increasing availability of Natural Gas gives a Fuel Good Factor

Why do we need NSG?

Why does India need NSG? They already have NSG near Gurgaon.

Combing Operations

Combing operations are seen before and after large parties

Jo Vadra

Jo Vadra Kiya Vo Dikhana Padega
Roke Congress To Bhi
Batana Padega

Wimbledon Seeds

One Wimbledon Centre Court some watch the seeds and some.... the beautiful flowers

No Rain

Ever since Modi has become PM there has been no rain. Is it a coincidence that his name is Naren (sounds like no rain)

Fuvare

Fuvaro Ke Bagal Baithi Mahenathi Mahila,
Kalatmak Aur Sundar Sa Joda Pehenke Neela

Dwarka

Dwarka in Gujarat has Somnath Temple, Dwarka in Delhi has Somnath Bharti

Have Sense

As the Censor Board continues to cut scenes in films. People are asking the Chairman "Is there any sense in this Sir?"

Bollywood's Shikanji connection

Thanks to Adobe Photoshop we can see pics of Bollywood stars drinking Shikanji at cold drink stalls.

Translation

Sab Moh Maya Hain

SAB TV - Moh (Electrical conductance) in MA (Master of Arts) Yeah Hey!

Lajpat Nagar

Next stop after Lajpat Nagar on Delhi Metro should be small part nagar because it should be after Large Part Nagar.

Delhi Metro Thoughts

What should be the next station after Aims on the Delhi Metro. It should be Shoot because after taking aim you shoot.
Race course station hardly anybody getting down or boarding. There are no ticket counters. The customer care issues tickets to keep busy.
Easiest also for security personnel. Bosses favorites would be coming here.

Damn Good

Damn Good: Afghanistan commission's a dam made by India

Completing 8 years

Mehnat Aur Lagan Se Saal Pure Kiye Aath
Abhinandan Karta Hoon Jod Ke Apne Hath
(You have completed 8 years working hard and sincerely congratulations with folded hands)

Mummies

Mummy's could be as silent as mummies till they are provoked

No. 2

In a team the no. 1 occupies 2-5 positions also. The so called no. 2 only starts after 5.

Selfie Ya Group

Photo Selfie Ya Group
Lagti Ho Khoob

Input = Output

Indian cooking channels shows present preparation of food with such high calories that they should have a follow up show of physical exercises to educate people on how to burn those calories

Jamnagar

Help needed to ease Gurgaon's traffic Jams. Instead of Gurugram we might have to borrow the name from Jamnagar.

pic an ethic

Looking good
in a wonderful pic
hard working
excellent work ethic

Pari

Lagti Hai Pari Par Ke Bina
Par Mehnat Karti Har Dina
(Looks like a fairy without wings but works hard everyday)

Tasveer

Har Tasveer Main Latgi Ho Aachi
Kyun Ke Man Ki Ho Sachi

Triple E

The Electrical Engineering and Electronics (EEE) are called triple E students at BITS. My son mentioned that a triple E student was going to Rourkela. I asked "why isn't he going to Libya" (Tripoli being capital of Libya)

May or May not

Considering the unpredictability in mind, agencies which declare Examination results prefer to play safe when say they will declare  in May. By this if there is any delay they can say we only said "we may declare".

Active furniture

The time furniture come alive:  Chairs speak in committees and turn tables on people

Degree priority

A sincere request to politicians  to focus on the rising degrees (in temperature) leading to a water crisis than asking for others degrees (educational).

Scifiction Movies

The dialogs spoken in non earth languages in Science fiction movies could be borrowed from infants below two years talking to their parents.

Badde Bade

Jis Din Aap Ka Badde Hota Hai Us Din Aap Ek Sal Bade Ho Jate Ho

Collaboration the key

With the problems facing the world getting more complex,  companies and countries are collaborating with each other to meet common objectives. Taking the cue now, Super Heroes have started collaborating together to save the world.

Hulk or Hulka

Some people want to be like Hulk and the rest "Hulka".

Min 10

Found in eligibility criteria for PhD program for a premier institute in India "with minimum CGPA 9.0/10"

Shaok Puri Karo

Doosaron Ko "Shock" Ho Sakta Hain Phir Bhi Apne Shoak Purey Karo Khush Raho ( Even if it shocks others do what you like to do, be happy)

Summer In Spring Out

Summer In, Spring Out even from our steps

India my country

India my country where to celebrate New Year around the year all you need is a ticket to travel to that part of the country which is celebrating New Year.

New Year Beholds

Women were not allowed entry to a inner santum of Shani temple in Singnapur Maharashtra  for 400 years. Today the tradition was broken, women were allowed to pray there. Its a great victory for women in India. I am very happy to know this and wonder why it took so long to break such a tradition.

Mumbai trains

During my visit to Japan in 1994 I realised that there was silence on the metro trains. Nobody used to even talk. The women folk used to chatter a bit. Men kept to themselves either reading a book or listening to music using a device.
In comparison my experience in Mumbai locals was a homely environment. People discussing issues of national importance like cricket and would be annoyed with you if you did not know the score of the match being played. People playing cards, singing devotional songs in groups and then distributing "Prasad" subsequently after a "Pooja". Once a person told me that my lips were very red in colour.
During my recent visit I found a change - everybody engaged with their cell phones. I rembered my journeys in the trains in Japan.

Door for Ac compartments

I find the door for entering/exiting the air conditioned compartments in Indian Railways opens into the compartments. in case of any emergency situation this could be a problem. the exit door should open outward  not inward.

Dada Station

The Dada of stations "Dadar"

Pull

Realized that PullKhich is an Indian dish which is made up of two words one from English and other from Hindi meaning the same thing

Sab Ka Sath

PM Modi's slogan applied to wake up time everyday:
Sab Ka Sath (seven)
Sab Ka Vikas
(Everybody at Seven
We all progress)

Original Iron Man

I wonder why the Iron man film series does not give any credit to the original "Iron" man Popeye who got his iron from spinach.

Confusion for Children

Confusing for children: Some Advertisements say "Swach Bharat" - keep things clean and some others say "Daag Ache Hain" - Stains on clothes is good. What should they do?

RERA makes it Real

With the Indian law on property RERA coming into force hope that UnReal Estate becomes Realistic and common people can realize their dreams of buying property.

My Country where

India my country where:
Devotional songs
are enjoyed as treats
Have bollywood tunes
and disco beats

Women Day

Jo Kare Sab Ka Khyal
Jiski Mehnat Hai Kamaal
Jiska Kaam Hai Bemisal
Mahila Diwas Mubarak Is Saal!
(One who takes care of all
Who works hard
Who excels at work
Best wishes for Woman's Day)

Aache Din

The Indian government at the Centre in May 2014 promised that "Aache Din Ayenge" (Good times will come). However I read that the King Of Goodtimes is planning to leave the country.

Summer mutter

With summer approaching Mutter (green peas) would become increasingly expensive leaving us only to mutter about Mutter.

Pins inside and outside

People with long hair need few pins on their head to keep their hair in shape and many more pins (ATM, Internet etc.) inside their heads to keep their lives in good shape.

Software Releases

In software releases, Known Bugs listed, far exceed Bugs Fixed. Request an additional section "Unknown Bugs" - to avoid any surprises.

Nayak Khalnayak

In a marriage procession the song "Nayak Nahin Khalnayak Hai Tu" was playing. I thought probably this is six months down the line.

Jath Path

Had heard of the term "Jath-Path". Now Jats blocking Paths. Its odd to get even with the govt this way. Hope there is peace soon.

Question No Question

After much persuasion my colleague in office agreed to give a talk to our team on Quality, with a condition. He chose the topic "Questioning Attitude". The condition - He should not be asked any questions after his presentation.

In in India

"In" is generally used to make opposite of what a word means - inconsistent is opposite of consistent and so on. However Incredible only enhances the word credible. It has been used to describe India, hope the "In" enhances India as well.

Gav Ka Lagav

Sab Ko Apne Gav Se Lagav Hota Hain

Break Ke Baad (After the break)

Break Ke Baad (after the break) was invented by Doordarshan when it had the monopoly in Indian Television. The mystery of the week would be revealed after several breaks in the final second of the program "Saptahiki", it was the Hindi feature film to be broadcast on Sunday the following week.

Do Chowks Choke?

Observation- Chowks - Choke traffic. Gurgaon being an example Shankar, IIFCO, Rajiv, Hero Honda all Chowks, Choke traffic.

Old PJs cracked in school

Name Bruce Lee's brother- brotherly, father - fatherly.
When VV Giri's wife was falling down she said "Giri Giri Giri". What did VV Giri's grandson call him, "Dadagiri"

Pauv and Pav

In Indian social functions some come for Blessings by touching feet (Pauv) of elders and some for Pav Bhaji, Vada Pav etc.

Missile Ka Misaal

A few lines for you:
Kam Ka Raftaar Hai Jaise Koi Missile
Kayam Karti Ho Doosaron Ke Liye Ek Misaal

Endorsement on Linkedin

Receive skill endorsements on Linkedin from unknown people never received from known people

Cart Traffic

Request Indian grocery stores to implement traffic rules for carts

Date Of Birth and Age Required

Do not understand why in many forms we fill in, both date of birth and age are asked and are mostly next to each other.

Forms

Do not understand why in many forms we fill in, both date of birth and age are asked and are mostly next to each other.

Gas Past or Present

Most people think Gas is past (when passed) others think Gas is the future (energy)

Delhi Metro

On Delhi Metro you can go from "Chat" (Chatrarpur) to a Minar (Qutub Minar) in one station.

Jee Ke

Teacher: Ab GK (general knowledge) Ka Class Hain
Student Sings: Hum Jee Ke Kya Karenge, Jab Dil He Tut Gaya

Pad Gaon Ke Daku

Mangesh Padgaonkar died recently he was a great Marathi poet. I remember his poems in my textbooks in school.
In his name I saw  question:
Pad Gaon Ke Daku Kaise Hote Hain?
Ans: Padaku

Then Kil Bil Now Kill Bill

In the days of Bombay Doordarshan in 70s we watched a Marathi children program "Kil Bil", watched an English movie of a similar name viz. "Kill Bill" - what an anti thesis!

BITS Pilani Goa

BITS Pilani Goa campus is a wonderful place. Its close to the airport. Whenever an aircraft is landing you need to stop mid sentence almost like the characters in Ramanand Sagar's Ramayan TV Serial when characters stood still and Ravindra Jain's song would play in the background.