Michael Car walla ya cycle walla

In the Hindi song "Julie Julie" by Annu Malik in the 80s there was a line "Cycle walla Michael" realized there also is the last name "CarMichael" so it could have been "Car walla Michael"

Happiest People

The happiest people don't have the best of everything they make the best of everything

Never Give Up

PATIENCE IS VIRTUE , NEVER GIVE UP Nothing is impossible no matter how hard and challenging life situations. Do not give up when you fail, try again and again. Because all we need in life is to fail in life struggles to master our destiny on our own in order to survive. Failure is not forever, the road may be tough but let’s push ahead. We, as humans need to be there for each other, let’s show no hate, no discrimination, no racism. Let us be there to inspire, help the young, helpless and the discriminated because our presence gives them hope not to give up. Don't forget

Investment Tips

*Some useful financial tips:*

1. Avoid buying property on loans as it eats most of your earnings unless you have a clear plan for its repayment. It's important to monitor cash flow. Though, the house will be your asset, your liability will be much more.

2. Start a SIP at a very young age. Try to save atleast 15–25% of your earnings.

3. Avoid buying a car unless you use it everyday.

4. Do not let this sentence scare you “Mutual fund investment are subject to market risk. Please read the offer documents carefully before investing”. Most people avoid investing in mutual funds just because of this one warning. Yes, there is a market risk, but look at the history and growth of mutual funds.

5. Try having a simple wedding.

6. Atleast 3 Month Household Exp. of yours  should be in liquid Funds from your wealth. So you can utilize it when necessary.

7. Considering inflation, you are actually losing money if it is in savings bank A/C.Understand the difference between saving & Investments. Do not keep huge money in savings bank account.

8. Do not have a belief that property and car make you rich. Its what you save and invest, that is important.

9. Never invest in Insurance for returns. Insurance is not an investment option. It is a risk management tool.            
                                          10.Your personal life and health are the most important investment. Stay healthy and live happily.

The Romans knew about it

For most men when they reach 40 their shirt size changes to XL (40 in Roman numerals)

Blessings

If you seek appreciation you may not ever get it. If you seek God's blessing at least there is a chance you might get it.

Way Will

Where there is a will there is a way
There is dismay if it does not go your way ;)

Overheard Taxi driver asking passenger: "Where do you want to go?" Passenger: "Red Light" Taxi Driver (Surprised): Which one???

Success

I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. - Micheal Jordan

To let Toilets Grow

Ever since Indian PM talked about toilets from the ramparts of Red Fort in 2014 on independence day, toilets have been in newspaper headlines, hindi film titles etc. I see new toilets constructed in schools I visit as a volunteer.

A politician has even requested government for a mobile toilet for his campaign. Please see link below:

http://m.hindustantimes.com/bhopal/if-state-doesn-t-provide-mobile-toilet-for-narmada-yatra-will-arrange-own-digvijaya-singh/story-n2vZrj3AocTAjDZDhEfxKP.html

A Plea to a Flea

Your Hopping around is injurious to others health

A Request For Consideration

Today when it is legal for a single adult to adopt children I am unable to understand why the details of father are required by various forms. Also "House Wife" should at least be substituted with "Home Maker" in list of occupations. 
Please see instructions for filling JEE Mains form in the attached picture.

Corporator Portraits

I had met the local corporator a few months back for some work. Recently I saw him on a poster as he was standing for re election and found him certainly looking more attractive than in real life. I remembered that even Maharaja's always ensured that they looked much better in their portraits than in real life.

MCD versus MCD

MCD (Municipal Corporation of Delhi) fighting against MCD (Malaria, Chickengunya and Dengue) this season.

Deer Dinner

What is dear at dinner and has a deer of the same name?
It's called Sambar

VR Reality

Virtual Reality was seen in Hindi films more than "Bees Saal Pehle" (20 years ago).  "Delhi Ka Qutub Minar" song from Dushmann shows bioscope which gave the impression as if one was standing in front of Qutub Minar. The song goes on to say "Ghar Baithe Sara Sansar Dekho" (Watch the world sitting at home).

Joining photo

Photos which are on identity cards are usually at the time of joining give away the time of the year when you joined the organization when with sweater show that you joined in Winter

Warding Off

District authorities preferred to describe the Wards that Gurgaon district is segregated into by a 38 page document instead of using a map.
Take a look:
http://gurgaon.gov.in/pdf/Notification.pdf

An Adv for Polaroid

IIT JEE Mains application brochure indirectly advertises Polaroid by specifically mentioning that scanned images of Polaroid photographs (in the age of selfies) are not acceptable for identifying the applying candidate 

Medical Tourism

Hindi films of the 70s like Milli showed charaters going abroad for treatment , even Indian President Zail Singh went abroad for his surgery. Today I read news of many coming to India for treatment like the heaviest woman, people from neighbouring countries etc.

Last Resort

Resorting to Resorts seems to be the Last Resort to ensure MLAs are not Sorted

Biggest Pulley problem

The biggest Pulley problem in Physics that 11 th graders have to deal with is Donger Pooli

Where are you welcome?

We need to knock at many doors to know where we are welcome.

We should go where we are welcome rather than where we "should" be.

Beta Bachao

Animal activists need to launch the Beta Bachao Beta Paalo campaign for bullocks and male buffaloes as nobody seems to want them

Nothing much

In the 80s  Toshniwal used to make calculators. The company makes a variety of other products. One of their representatives was visiting a Chemical complex in a rural area. As word spread of his arrival there one employee who wanted to meet him regarding his problem with a Toshniwal calculator. When asked by the representative about the problem, the employee replied "Nothing much, the calculator does not come ON thats all"

Power And Electricity

I went to a Govt. School in Gurgaon to conduct a session for JA. During the session with Class 8 girl students there was a powercut. I mentioned to them that as early as 2014 there were 18000 villages in India with no electric pole and one girl promptly said "like my village"

On meeting target set by the Prime Minister Narendra Modi on August 15, 2015 to electrify 18,000 villages from remote areas in 1,000 days, the Power minister Piyush Goyal informed on 10 Jun 2017 that so far 14,700 have been electrified and the balance 3,800 will be electrified ahead of schedule.

Unlucky No

Looks like academics also want to avoid the unlucky number 13. After Class 12 one goes to University.

Happiest People

The happiest people don't have the best of everything they make the best of everything

Lessons in Life

Take 10 - 30 minutes of jog every day
Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
No one is in charge of your happiness except you
What other people think of you is none of your business
Live life with the 3 E's Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy
Don't take yourself seriously nobody else does
Envy is a waste of time.
You already have all you need or definitely will get what you really, really want
Make time to practice Meditation, Yoga and Prayer Eat more foods that grow on trees & plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants Sleep for 8 hours a day
Drink atleast 2 litres of water per day
Play more games
Dream more while you are awake
Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6
Read more books than you read last month
Try to make at least three people smile each day
don't waste your precious energy on gossip
Forget issues of the past
Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control instead invest your energy in the positive moment
Time heals everything
Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper
Smile and laugh more
However bad the situation is it will pass
No matter how you feel, get up and show up
The best is yet to come
When you awake alive thank God for it
Forgive everyone for everything Love yourself
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone
So get rid of those ill feelings. You don't have to win every argument agree to disagree Each day give something good to others

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will; When the road you're trudging seems all uphill; When the funds are low and the debts are high; And you want to smile but you have to sih When all is pressing you down a bit Rest if you must, but don't you quit Success is failure turned inside out The silver tint on the clouds of doubt And you can never tell how close you are It may be near when it seems far So stick to fight when you're hardest hit Its when things go wrong that you must not quit - John Greenleaf Whittier

Being Superman

In the evening the fastest mode of transport in Gurgaon is walking, if it rains there are traffic jams every where and feels like superman (when walking around).

Positives

There is a big drain in Gurgaon now. Each year Hero Honda Chowk floods. This year there will be no floods at Hero Honda Chowk. Manmohan Singh was made to say that economy will lose 2% points due to demonetization. Its dropped only 0.5% in Jan to March. Economy started dipping a little before demonetization. So the doomsdayers words did not come true.
Economy has picked up from May-Jul period expected to be 7.9%.
After GST implementation which no govt could earlier rate of growth will grow.
Eastern peripheral road in Delhi is getting completed. it will reduce pollution in Delhi by 50%. Trucks will not have to cross delhi if they are going from one state to another
Another State of Art work is Jammu-Kashmir tunnel completed
People in Yemen rescued. Other countries also sought Indias help to get their people

Few lines for Sniti

In your journey across borders
you have won many a heart
Marching ahead and leading
many a artiste from your art

Khuda

In Gurgaon we have Khuda (God) and HUDA (Haryana Urban Development Authority) to take care.

Samay Pe Badli

Agar Samay Pe Badli Nahi Hui to Jana Samaypur Badli (last stop on Delhi Metro Yellow line)

Mynas singing to each other

The Hindi song from Roti Kapda Aur Makan
Mai Na Bhulunga
Mai Na Bhulungi

Repeating Tunes

Recent Hindi films have re packaged old songs.
Some repeated tunes by the same music director in the past:
Madan Mohan - Hai Tere Saath Meri Wafa (Hindustan Ki Kasam) and Ruke Ruke Se Kadam ( Mausam).
Hridaynath Mangeshkar -
Jambul Piklya Zaada Khali (Jait Re Jait) and Ayee Holi ( Mashaal).
Jaidev -
Kabhi Khud Pe Kabhi Halaat Per Rona Aya (Hum Dono)
and
Ajeeb Saaneha Mujh Par Guzar Gaya Yaaron (Gaman)

Sniti

A few lines in Hindi on Sniti:
Mehnat Aur Lagan Hai Uski Paribhasha
Safalta Kayam Rahe Aysi Aasha

(Hardwork and sincerity her definition, may her success continue)

Smart at the Mart

A lady sincere and smart
went shopping at a mart

Sniti's Melodies

From Kanyakumari to Kashmir
Sniti's Melodies Go on Air

Kora Kagaz

On a blank peace of paper write the number 13 and sing the song:
"Kora Kagaz Tha Ye Man Mera Likh Diya Naam Ispe Tera"

Minutes

Most 15 minute meetings end in 50 minutes

Investigators Old / New

Old investigators would work with "log" (people in Hindi) to resolve cases. Modern investigators also work with "log" but of the electronic kind know  as log files.

Election Results

For the Congress after Coalgate frown now a Colgate Smile thanks to Punjab

Whats in a File Name

File name of CV of a person named Raman: CVRaman
Reminded of the great scientist.

Singing in Goa

The sign that shows Goans sing- Vehicle license plates start with "Ga"

Puliyogare

Strong case for Puliyogare to be re-named as Puliyo Brown

Which one is heavier

Two bags one with 10 kg rice and other with Sambhar powder,  which one is heavier?
The one with Sambhar powder because its Some Bhar so its heavy.

OPS vs VKS

OPS has shown his Kala.
VKS says "OPanly Near CM"

Insurance Ad

A recent advertisement by an Indian insurance company shows 4 of a family on a single bicycle going together happily showing no trace of concern at a possible safety issue that may arise. This is probably pointing to a fact that such families definitely need insurance.

Art Fair

Reverse first letters of Art Fair and you get Fart Air  :-)

Better or Bitter

Let the grief you go through make you a better person than a bitter person.

Walking

Walking into the greens
wearing smart pair of jeans

Leave in March

What can leave taken in month of March in Mumbai called?
Dandi March

Mulayam

Mulayam Singh - Mulayam for son and Singh for others

Coincidence

Is it a coincidence that Two groups are vying for the election symbol Bi Cycle ( Bicycle)?

EC Dilema

Election Commission's dilema on who can use the Bicycle symbol could be eased by considering the symbol as Bi Cycle (two cycles). Give one each of the two claimants.

You will bring warmth in the Coldest of Places

You will bring warmth in the Coldest of Places.

Lentils Variety

Several Lentils used in cookery shows "Pani Dal", "Chini Dal", "Tel Dal" etc.

Bharat Desh

India My Country Where: "Jahan Dal Dal Ke Tadke Mein Mirchi Karti Hai Basera
Woh Bharat Desh Hai Mera"
(Where there is Chilli Seasoning in Lentil Soup that is my country India)